CULTURE | Global: An Irreverent Guide to Crisis Zone Slang and Euphemism
November 2011 | Humanitarianbazaar.org
As the crew of HELO continues to polish a new battery of stories to start the new season, here’s another meaty blast from the recent past. We strongly encourage any of you to contribute to this story, too.
This story was originally created way back in 2011! With cancel culture, we realize many of you may not stomach some of the slang humor here, but rest assured we are anti-colonialist and believe in feminist reform of humanitarian response while at the same time we hope people can keep a sense of humor and ease of conversation
If you have a sharp, perhaps darkly humorous slang term or idiom from crisis zones, aid work, security, human rights or development, please send them in and if they’re good we’ll add them: Humanitarianbazaar@gmail.com
Emergency responders are experts who rally during war or disaster to assist survivors on everything from public health, to shelter, peacebuilding, security, media, lobbying, smuggling, transforming chaos into havoc, throwing parties worth revolution, being colonialist jerkoffs, importing sin and decadence, to being global saints.
And they often ride the hee-lo, heli, chopper, rotor blade, Mi8, seahawk, thunderbutt, otherwise known as a helicopter, to get over mountains or fighting lines to those stories unfolding deep in-country.
The group has a huge tent, and the slang and euphemisms of this largely rough-neck, cynical, if life-saving, lot is an amalgamation of British, Irish, American, Australian and African English spiced with a bit of Swahili, Arabic, French and bureaucratese then roasted over an open flame until dark and sour.
Newcomers to humanitarian aid, human rights, advocacy, development, journalism, and global security will learn through this guide a number of delicious terms like halas!, matatu, civcas, baby-catcher, Delhi-belly, fob-knobbing, procrasturbation, bad-hair mission, beer-boarding, hostage lunch, combat jack, tree suit, and well-fed dead.
We’ve also included some straightforward terms and acronyms which are regularly thrown into conversations without explanation, so they should be quite useful for people new to the field.
Beware that while most crisis responders are “do-gooders” at heart, many have seen tragedy which turned their language anything from cynical to macabre. Laughter in the face of darkness is not remotely as offensive as the rockets which turned out the fucking lights, so if the dark humor turns you off, you’re not ready to live or work in crisis zones.
Remember this is a living document here at HELO Magazine, so please distribute it to your colleagues, friends, and enemies, and submit any additions you feel should be included to Helo@Helo-Magazine.com. We’ll keep it here through new issues. Enjoy!
THE GUIDE
From the archive way back in 2011.
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Absobloodylutely – Absolutely, with bloody emphasis!
Action man – A macho guy, always ready for anything, sometimes annoyingly eager.
Adhd – Attention deficit disorder; when someone has not necessarily a clinical diagnosis but is just jumpy, nervous, or over-caffeinated and having trouble focusing on one thing, and this leads to periods of proud creation punctuated by times of self doubt. Slang here because people say it about missions, projects, not only people, and not necessarily those who actually have it.
Agro – Agriculture or related projects.
AID – Shorthand for the U.S. Agency for International Development. Most call it “U.S.A.I.D.” Others call it “A.I.D.” Still others call it “Aid.” Same thing, don’t make a big deal out of who’s right or wrong cause they can’t decide which is right even in Washington, DC. Oh, yeah, and by the way, it is the world’s premiere government agency for donating money for humanitarian relief, democratization, and counter-poverty development.
An AKM (top), and an AK-47. Were you right? Koalorka.
AK/ AK-47 / Kalashnikov – Soviet, then Russian and Chinese made rifle ubiquitous in crisis zones. They are the cheapest automatic and semi-automatic weapons in the developing world. Note that most people call them AK-47s even if they are the more available AKM. Even locals forget the difference.
Alcopop – Liquor drunk with a fruit flavor or additive, usually light.
Alphabet soup – A conversation with a high number of acronyms, usually related to the UN or the military. For example, “My colleague over at WHO just did the CMR and submitted it to WFP, FAO, and OCHA, but then it came back that the MCH element was totally balls-up so it never made it to the IASC. Now he’s getting shit from DfID.”
Ankle-biters – Kids, grrrr.
Antonov – Russian or Soviet-made aircraft sometimes used by developing world airlines and the UN. They make biiiiig planes.
Apeshit / go apeshit – Freaked out (or to get freaked out), stirred up, anxious, angry, worried, agitated with some cloudy element to it. “After the doctor woke up from trying to save twenty people from an outbreak and learned the police ordered the patients out of the clinic, he went totally apeshit.”
Argy-bargy – Trouble, noisy, to argue loudly.
As fuck / …as fuck – A fragment to add for emphasis. “How was Djibouti, Liam?” “Hot as fuck.” (Judges will also accept “…as balls”; “…as yo momma”; “like a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire”; or “as Hell.”)
Assessment – Nearly every crisis response requires an “assessment” or look-see in order to gauge how much money, staff, and supply will be needed to get a job done. Although some people use “assessment” now for other things. “Hey man, that bar looks pretty slimy.” “No worries. I’ll make an assessment and let you know if it’s worth our night.”
Attention whore – Everywhere there are kiss-ups, bum-lickers, and ass-kissers, so we have this elegant title to describe the similar phenomenon of someone who is always hogging the conversation, or the bar, or the credit for some success. They can range from evil obsessives to narcissists to affirmation-seekers.
Babel babble – Too many languages used over the same table to keep up with.
A babushka. No, really, I met her grandkid. HELO.
Babushka – Russian word for grandmother used anywhere to refer to an older woman with her head covered; or the scarf itself.
Baby-catcher – A birth attendant or mother-and-child-health (MCH) specialist who may sometimes help deliver babies. (See Joanna Jorissen Chiwaula’s blog.)
Bad hair mission – A mission to the field in which the traveler woke up late, got into an argument with someone, or is generally disorganized so that once the crammed mission schedule gets going there’s no time for the traveler to straighten out before it’s over.
Bakshish – A cash or goods tip or bribe to get someone to stop obstructing progress.
Balls-up – When something goes terribly wrong. “Once the rebels entered the town, the project went totally balls up. We had to flee.”
Helicopter flying a humvee. DoD.
Balls-out – When someone or a group of people do something courageous or daringly stupid with some external acknowledgement that it is either courageous or daringly stupid.
Bandolier – Originally a belt of rifle or machine gun bullets which can be draped over the shoulders, the term can also be used for a linked set of condom packets, hand sanitizer samples, or instant coffee packs.
Barf – In Farsi, Tajik, Dari, and a few other languages this means “snow”, but it’s also the name of a popular soap detergent. However, English-speakers nearly always use it to indicate when they throw up, vomit, discard lunch, blow chunks, visit the porcelain God, or talk on the big white phone.
Bash – Could be a party, or hitting someone over the head, or criticize someone who dictated some royally stupid declaration.
Basta – From Italian and Spanish, to mean “Enough!” “Stop it!” or “Thanks.”
Battered – To be drunk, tipsy, inebriated; from the concept of beer-battered fried fish.
Beeb – Shorthand for the British Broadcast Corporation or BBC.
Beer-boarding – Pouring beer or other liquor in your friend one glass at a time to get him to tell you exactly who it was he slept with that he doesn’t want to admit to. Or where he hid the dirty pictures of his ex-girlfriend. Or to get him to admit that he’s wrong and you’re the badass who predicted the government would collapse afterall.
Berm – Any large hill, wall, or barrier which is used for protection, like around a military base or along an irrigation channel.
Bevvy – Shorthand for beverage, usually beer or other alcoholic drink.
Big white telephone – Toilet, named for the Western standard model which one often gets to know well when very, very sick or very, very drunk.
Biofuel – When natural items like corn husks or banana peels are recycled in such a way to make a clean burning fuel; or when somebody farts, lets gas, clouds the room, and doesn’t want to use a rude word for it.
Blackwater – Formally, it’s a contracting agency which provides armed security, logistics, and other services for the U.S. government in war zones. However, many, if not most, crisis responders use the term to refer to blindly patriotic assholes who are so full of adrenalin and testosterone that they can’t see they’re behaving like village paramilitaries and pissing off the local population.
Bob – A word often used as shorthand for a small bill form of cash. It may also be used to refer to Zimbabwe’s democratic dictator Robert Mugabe or his style of government.
Bollox – British slang for testicles, balls, cajones, beans, jackfruit, etc, usually said when something is surprising, aggravating, or annoying.
Bombed out – A building which has been hit by artillery or… Drunk, tipsy, inebriated, sloshed, cashed in, battered, zombified, etc.
Botch – To take something going well and have it turn wrong.
Bouncebackability – A movement, project, or organization which after having been set back seriously by an evacuation, bombing, or funding shortfall, has the ability to rise again and be strong and successful. “Well, last year we flew into Jonglei, de-mined the active fields, distributed seeds and tools and trainings, and the crop grew. Now after the heavy rains have wiped that harvest out, let’s see if the project has any bouncebackability.”
Brief – An incredibly long, boring, often pointless discussion which was supposed to be short, to the point and – annoyingly – obligatory.
Brown water, yellow water – A biologist or lefty’s terms for shit and piss, usually used when having to talk hours and hours about how to encourage communities to recycle human waste to fertilize fields, etc.
Bulletproof – Said of a person who does crazy things, goes to crazy places, and somehow comes back without harm or misfortune. Also, the title of an aid worker anthem by the rock band, Radiohead.
Bum fuck Egypt – A location so far out of civilization that one worries about being trapped out there. Judges will also take “buckwheat Montana,” “Mars,” or “Timbuktu.”
Bundoos / In the bundoos – When traveling from the city to the “bush,” or rural area, in Africa, there is that middle area known as the bundoos. (Thanks, K.B.L.)
Burqaville – Anyplace where non-Muslim women are concerned that they will be isolated, if not harassed for being the only women whose face and/or hair are exposed in public; a humorous, if not playfully rude, name for a strong feeling of mild persecution.
Bush – Although typically used in the West to refer to the former US Presidents Bush and their policies, or the female nether regions, the word is more commonly used in crisis zones to talk about rural areas or related issues. “Shite. I better eat well; I’ve got to spend all next week out in the bush.”
Bush ambulance – A sloppy means of emergency transportation in a poor rural area. Could be a camel, donkey, bicycle, wheelbarrow, or canvass sack. Really, could you imagine stepping on a landmine and then being carried over rocky paths to civilization on a bicycle? Etai!
Bush goggles – Originating from the American term “beer goggles,” which refers to when someone is so drunk that they are willing to flirt or get sexy with people they don’t otherwise find attractive, “bush goggles” is when one is so far out in the rural area that over time the three practical romantic candidates in the village change from unattractive to mighty fetching due to the paltry romantic supply-demand ratio.
Bush taxi – Any driver with vehicle willing to ferry clients through mud, jungle, desert, filth, or war for a standard price. Beware, it’s often a lorry filled with goods that will keep loading people on the top until the thing is dragging the ground and about to tip over. No seatbelts. Sometimes high risk.
Cojones – From the Spanish, referring to testicles, balls, bollox, etc, usually said to refer to a man’s bravery or blindly stupid risk taking.
Chop – African English for steak, the best restaurants for roasted meats, or a barbeque.
Chronic vs acute – Wow, big one here. Not exactly slang, but crisis responders, particularly public health specialists, use these all the time to refer to other things not aid related. In aid, “chronic malnutrition” is when a person eats very little over a long time so they may have stunted growth. “Acute malnutrition” is when there is a sudden shortage of food so they eat even less or nothing for a short period of time but the result could be vulnerability to disease and death. So… One can talk about other things this way. “Zohair has chronic bad breath, but yesterday after the drinkfest it was so acute I thought I would barf.”
CIA – The US Central Intelligence Agency, secret services, spies, info-gatherers.
CI/Coin – Shorthand for “counter-insurgency,” or the efforts by a government or military force to reduce violent resistence to that government.
City goals bush standards – A term with many variants to describe when a United Nations agency, filled with a mix of leaders from all levels of communities, agrees on a high standard like “high-speed-internet access” but follows through miserably with “internet available from 5-7pm on weekends,” and it’s incredibly slow.
Civcas – Shothand for “civilian casualties” incurred in violence.
Cluster sampling – Researchers use this term for how they collect data in the field, questioning people in clusters or groupings. However, some crisis responders also use this term with humor to refer to other things, like how someone is romantically dating around, or “cluster sampling” the men or women in their network of friends, as opposed to trying to fall in love and settle down.
Clusterfuck – A military slang term for when a group of people trying to get something done, clumsily run into each other resulting in madness or failure. Could also be used to refer to a bush orgy, but that’s rare, oh so rare.
CMR – Shorthand for “crude mortality rate,” the indicator whether a community’s fate is deadly or just shitty.
Collywobbles – Nervousness in the stomach.
Combat dump – Taking time out during an urgent, fast-paced firefight or response mission in order to take a shit, often in a field, often with people waiting for you to finish; as echoed in the book and mini-series Generation Kill.
Combat jack – Taking time out of a dangerous mission to jack off, masturbate, pet the bunny, shock the monkey, etc; also echoed in Generation Kill.
Commando – To travel without underwear either because it’s hot, underwear are all used up, or because sex is on the schedule.
Compound – Word used for nearly any office, guesthouse, or living space which has a wall or security system around it.
Contractor burn – A diplomatic kind of heartburn related to some amped-up gun freak from a contracting agency accidentally blowing away civilians leading to the local population being suspicious and/or hostile to anyone remotely resembling the guy in skin tone or nationality.
Cow juice – Milk.
Crew – People trained to run a helicopter, plane, spacecraft, or intergalactic imperial battlestation.
Cultural relativity – A reminder that what’s normal for you might be not so normal for them.
Culture vulture – Someone who claims to love indigenous cultures only to exploit them for their own profit.
Dear Joanna – A “Dear John” letter, but to an aid worker instead of a soldier.
Decapitation strike – A military attack aimed at removing the leader, with the silly assumption that everyone else under him are robots who will cease to fight once the leader is gone.
Delhi belly – An upset stomach or infection, like when you’ve had the nuclear curry from the third street stall on the left.
Diplospeak – The language of people who are somehow able to talk about important political topics without offending anyone except for those who are seeking substance, detail, and honesty.
DfID – The UK’s Department for International Development, a premiere governmental donor to humanitarian aid, development, and democratization.
Disaster Porn – Crisis news hyped up with plot devices to cultivate viewer addiction back home, like making a war look like a three-act feature film thriller. Despite real suffering, no one wants it to end. Humanitarian aid workers more specifically use the term to describe those awareness or fundraising videos and photos which make the survivors of a disaster look beautiful, the aid workers sexy heroes, and the crisis exciting.
Disaster Whore – Someone who continually takes the new job to the latest crisis even if they and their friends disagree strongly with the ethics of said agency; can be used negatively or humorously.
Dodgy – When an area is suffering serious violence; you might want to wait until it calms down before you buy your ticket.
DynCorps – The most notoriously annoying of all the U.S. government contracted security agencies. They behave like a village paramilitary force, known for blocking hundreds of cars in downtown Baghdad with guns pointed and sirens blazing just to let two or three American diplomats make it to a meeting. Iraqis hate them for constantly blocking traffic. See “Blackwater” for more insults and pessimism.
Ear-bashing – A reprimand.
ECHO – The European Commission Humanitarian Office, Europe’s premiere agency for donating government funds to humanitarian aid, development, and democratization. Also, the largest donor agency of which one can find representatives way out in the deep bush getting their hands dirty.
Executive Outcomes – A South African paramilitary organization, one of the premiere government contracted security agencies of the 1990’s and inspiration for American contractors like Blackwater, Dyncorps, or Triple Canopy. After providing very controversial security support to rightist governments around Africa, the agency recovered its reputation a bit when it intervened in Sierra Leone’s civil war where government and regional forces were otherwise screwing up. They were the obvious model for the security agency featured in the South African film, District 9.
Embed – A journalist who rides along with a military force, inside and living the same way (though not typically handling weapons) in order to write or video from the soldier’s point of view.
Emergency sex – When a crisis responder has been far away from a lover or any potential candidates for love or sex for such a long time that one rushes into a fun and/or reckless affair with a friend or stranger.
Emergency… – Can be added to anything that is in short supply out in the field when it finally, after great drama, arrives at the door. “Emergency relief, emergency sex, emergency chocolate, emergency peanut butter, emergency sleep, emergency mani-pedi…”
Eminee / M&E – Monitoring and evaluation; the act of pretending or actually tracking the levels of success of a project, product, or romantic relationship.
Epi – Shorthand for epidemiology, the investigation into the source of health concerns among a population.
Ethnocentrism – Thinking only from one’s own ethnic group’s point of view, lacking empathy for others of other cultures.
Evac – Shorthand for evacuation, getting you and your team out of harm’s way.
Expat – Someone living voluntarily away from their country of origin for a long period of time.
Fanfuckingtastic – Fantastic with fucking emphasis!
Fansidar– Often the colloquial for any kind of anti-malarial preventive medication. But also, chloroquine, mefloquine. Some are stronger than others, some trigger dark dreams or nervousness.
FAO / Fao – Pronounced “F.A.O.” or “fow,” shorthand for the Food and Agriculture Organization, a United Nations agency responsible for guiding assistance for the revitalization of agriculture in troubled parts of the globe.
Feinstein – Shorthand for the Feinstein International Center, a think tank based outside Boston at Tufts University which has long been the premiere academic center for counter-famine, food security, and nutrition theory.
Fewsnet – The Famine Early Warning System network funded by the U.S. to predict hunger and aid in its prevention if not an international response to treat it. Often people on the ground consult the online site to check whether a bad drought is likely to be more damaging than usual.
Five ton – An American military truck used to haul anything and everything.
Fixer – A local in a crisis zone who is willing for cash to help arrange travel to rough places, if not also interviews with officials, families, elder councils, soldiers, rebels, traveling bands, or border bureaucrats.
Fob – Forward Operating Base, a military site near the frontline during a war.
Fob-Knobbing – Like hobknobbing, but when a person spends lots of time in forward operating bases, flirting with politicians, soldiers, and spies, as opposed to getting out to the local community outside the walls.
Foraging – Trying to find something rare and valuable in an area where there isn’t much, like finding love in a desert.
Foreplot – Misrepresenting oneself to get in the sack with someone.
Forward Starbucks – A source of coffee in a combat zone or close to the frontline where it would otherwise be impossible, as mentioned in the book and film, Generation Kill.
Frisbeetarianism – Belief that when you die your soul lands on a roof somewhere and is forgotten.
Future shock – When people are shocked by rapid modernization.
Go native – To travel to a new country and not only dig the local culture but try to become like a local in style and behavior; tends to make one look like either a well-meaning imbecile or a duplicitous spy.
Good lenses bad frames – Good at what they do despite making a bad first impression or appearances.
Green Zone – Second name for “International Zone,” an area like in downtown Baghdad where security is concentrated in order to create free walking areas for foreign visitors in a city where otherwise they might get their throats cut. There are or were also Green Zones in places like Kabul, Vladikavkaz, and other war zone cities.
Grief counselor – A mortician.
Grunt – A military man, typically a U.S. Marine or Army infantryman who carries a rifle on the frontline. The term comes from a long history of carrying a lot of weight long distances. Marines use the term to distinguish them from all the softer humans like “pogs,” or persons-other-than-grunts.
Hairy – When an area is experiencing tremendous violence, so be sure to pack cigarettes and a body bag.
Halal – Any food or behavior that is theologically approved for Muslims. See also its opposite, “haram.”
Halas! – Arabic for “Enough!” “Stop!” or “Okay, thanks.” Good word for a taxi ride.
Hangers-on – Anyone, especially kids, who seem to follow one like an entourage, even when they’re not welcome.
Haram – No, not harem, you idiot. Haram is a word to label food or behavior which is forbidden for Muslims based on their religious beliefs.
Helo / heli – Shorthand for helicopter. Judges will also accept “chopper,” “rotor-blade,” or the “thingy with the propeller.”
Hijab / Chador – The scarf or outfit Muslim women wear to cover their hair and curves. Note that a burqa is like hijab except with the significant addition of covering the face completely.
Hookah / hubbabubba / shisha – Water pipe popular throughout the Islamic world and Israel.
Hostage lunch – A meal you were required to eat with co-workers though you’d rather be spending the time playing Solitaire, Minesweeper, or on Facebook on your laptop.
Hump – To carry a lot of weight for a long distance. Also used to describe when someone or an animal tries to have sex with something they have no reason having sex with like a tree, a leg, or a bar stool.
Hunter-gatherer – Someone who’s old-fashioned about either food or romance or sex.
Hurrication – When one is evacuated due to a natural disaster but, unable to work, one takes some days off to relax or catch up on Facebook MafiaWars.
IDHA – International Diploma in Humanitarian Assistance, an intensive course offered in New York which involves a number of UN leaders and diplomats.
Ilyushin – A Russian-made aircraft seen in UN and developing world fleets.
Immersion foot – When after long hikes in the bush, or living in a rough situation, one gets an infection in the cracks or blisters of the foot. It can be dangerous.
Inbox rot – An invite or Facebook friending which one leaves unopened to avoid awkwardness.
Interaction – The Washington DC-based organization which represents American non-governmental organizations involved in humanitarian aid, development, and civil society. Though it’s a great place to meet people, its policy advocacy and debates tend to get stunted by the fact that its members disagree with each other but are unwilling to iron it out during forty-five minute bureaucratic meetings.
Juggernaut – Any huge endeavor with incredible force of momentum, or used in irony for something ridiculously slow and ineffective.
Jungle fever – When an international travels to a tropical area and is overwhelmed with lust for local romantic candidates.
Kalashnikov – Rifle common to the developing world. See “AK.”
Karamoja / Zaraguina – Alternative words for rural militias who believe that they have the power to curse enemies and protect themselves through animist spells.
Karma police – Spirits or ghosts who float around making sure that if someone has done something mean that it will come back to haunt them. From the popular rock song by Radiohead.
Kosher – Food or behavior approved under Judaism. Also, used for about anything that’s “allowable” by someone or some code.
Kthxbye – Online shorthand for, “okay now leave me alone.”
Landmine patrol – A herder and his livestock in any mine-infected community. Actually, this began as a local Bosnian joke, but it’s actually common for people who haven’t farmed for fear of mines and delay of de-mining teams to let their heards graze in the field for a while to “clear” mines.
Laptop pilot – Anyone who’s very existence depends on their laptop or online activities undertaken with their laptop.
Laying napalm – Diarrhea after eating spicy food.
Lokichokio – Any humanitarian logistics hub linking missions in multiple countries, named for the town in northern Kenya from which teams leave for Kenya, Somalia, Sudan, and sometimes Uganda.
M&E – See Eminee.
Madmax – When foreigners coming to a crisis zone are so fearful that they keep guards alert with weapons raised. Often used to refer to convoys of foreigners who have contractors leaning out the windows pointing guns at locals. Pisses everyone off. Most aid workers avoid this.
Mantrum – When a grown man throws a tantrum or complains like a small child.
Marscape – Any land where nothing grows, as in southwestern Afghanistan or northeastern Somalia.
Mass Murder Marathon – When, to relax after working in a war zone, crisis responders lay around with beer playing crime thriller DVDs end over end.
Matatu – See “bush taxi.”
Mch – Shorthand for mother and child health.
Medivac – Medical evacuation.
Mefloquine dreams – Bad dreams triggered from a combination of stress and strong malaria prevention medication.
MI5 – The British secret service for gathering information on other countries.
Mi-8 – A common kind of helicopter used by the United Nations in crisis zones.
MID – Man in a dress, or the Arab and Asian shawar chemise or long-top pajama set.
MIG – A kind of Soviet warplane, often found crashed in crisis zones. One stands as a monument in downtown Hargeisa, Somaliland, another houses stray cats by the World Food Programme compound in Juba, South Sudan.
Milk bar – Room for wet nurses and new mothers with babies.
Mixer – A party in which to meet people who are otherwise too busy or too snobby.
Mossad – The Israeli secret service agency.
MRE – Meal-ready-to-eat; meal which comes in a plastic bag, issued by the U.S. government usually for the military.
Mujahid (plural = Mujahedin) – Any Muslim or person referred to in the Arabic language who devotes himself or herself to a very important, perhaps moral cause, a jihad, at great personal sacrifice. Westerners often use these terms only to refer to Islamic radical fighters.
Mukhabarat – The security and intelligence ministry of an Arab country.
Muzungu – Swahili word for foreigner or white person, but used beyond the Swahili-speaking world to talk about Westerners visiting the developing world. Plural is “wazungu.” Judges will also accept “stranets” (Slavic), “ferangi” (Arabic), or “gaijin” (Japanese).
NFI – Non-food items like soap, dishes, water jugs, bed rolls, etc.
Nigerian / Nigerian election – All the greatest human and natural resources and yet some dominate jerk still manages to turn a democracy corrupt, said of an election or process fraught with predictable corruption. (Thanks to RM)
Ninja – Muslim woman who wears an entirely black hair and body gown with only her eyes showing, said sometimes by Muslims as well as non-Muslims but sarcastic, not well accepted.
NOHA – European Network on Humanitarian Assistance, a multi-national provider of specialty humanitarian aid training, its members in crisis zones all over the world.
OCHA – The UN’s Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs, the agency meant to coordinate all intergovernmental aid in crisis zones. It’s often slammed for failing to lead, but it’s actually more of a forum for leaders to coordinate through than a leading office.
Oscar Mike – On the move, ready to go, we’re leaving.
Paramilitaries – They think they’re an army, they act like teenage boys, some are dutiful sons, others are fighting war outside of the law. Any non-governmental fighting force. Judges will also take “irregulars,” “contractors,” “mujahedin,” “cubscouts,” “tennis shoe army,” or “Tea Party.”
Pathfinder – All-terrain vehicle of choice for those crisis responders who prefer to operate in the bubble of comfort. Usually white cause they’re slightly cheaper. Often decaled. Not always a Nissan.
Pissed – Americans say this to mean someone’s angry. Everyone else says it to mean someone’s drunk. Go figure.
Plumpynut – One of the humanitarian world’s more successful little projects, at least in terms of old-school relief. It’s a peanut butter and vitamin concoction made in Europe which is great to deliver during food shortages cause it combines vitamins, minerals, and a decent flavor. It comes in little squeeze packets usually. And it needs to be served with grains and plenty of water.
Pog / pogue – Persons other than grunts, office worker.
Positive deviance – This one’s a bit nuanced, but aid workers find this extremely important so pay attention: For every hundred or so communities which have a public health threat or harmful practice that health or rights advocates want to prevent, there are probably three or four which for some strange reason don’t have the threat or harmful practice. Locals are proud of traditions and secure in habits, so it’s not always effective to simply tell those that have it that foreigners know better because of some statistical study. Instead, it works much better to learn why the two or three exceptions evolved out of the threat or practice and bring those positive lessons to the other communities as an indigenous solution. Why is this slang? Cause those who know the term can apply in lots of occasions, and not always public health. They could be talking about you in code.
Procrasturbating – When someone is taking way too long getting something done, and it turns out they’re wasting time pleasuring themselves, with some narcissistic exercise like Facebook or downloading photos or…
Rainwater harvesting – Officially, this is when people who live in a desert or area where there are no rivers or where there are long periods without rain set up catchment systems around their houses which funnel rain water into storage. But…the term can also be code used for finding and consuming liquor in a dry, liquor-ban area, sometimes requires complicated logistical gambits reminiscent of Joseph Heller’s Catch-22.
Rebel vogue – Sometimes, yes sometimes as in certain Bosnian paramilitaries or Sudanese janjawid or Sierra Leonean child soldiers, rebels have the joy du mode. Feather necklaces. Armani suits. Peacock tattoos. Leopard print gun holster or slippers. They might be cruel, but many irregulars don’t take their freedom to dress out of uniform for granted. And some not only dress funky but love getting their picture taken.
Reliance vs dependence – Seems silly to many people, but there’s enough nuanced difference between saying people are “dependent” on aid versus “reliant” to get any two UN bureaucrats wrestling.
Relief cowboy – Rights and development cliques sometimes prod humanitarian aid workers, formerly known as emergency relief workers, for chasing drama, sometimes seeming to ride out like vigilantes into the latest war with glee.
Relief vs Humanitarian Aid – Traditionally foreign aid followed the model of St Francis of Asissi: emergency relief. As long as the poor lines are short, responders ignored them. Then when religious occasion or pride or emergency required it one shared a few shillings or boxes of food, medicine, or whatever. Americans are still fixated on this old style. It means well, but doesn’t exactly cut to the causes of the poverty in the first place now, does it? Recently, emergency response has incorporated development and human rights philosophy. Since it’s a hybrid, crisis responders don’t call it relief anymore. Instead, it’s humanitarian response and development. The distinction is kind of a big deal for hardcore aid workers, so if you’re new, learn it.
Retardese – The guy is talking in English, saying all kinds of things, and you don’t know what the Hell he’s trying to say. Maybe he’s speaking retardese.
A Sarajevo rose. Labattblueboy.
Sarajevo rose/ roses – When a mortar or artillery shell hits pavement, especially asphalt, it leaves a shallow crater which kind of looks like a dinosaur footprint. If the shell hit a person, the blood sometimes pools into the footprint. Get it? It’s awful, but Sarajevans wanted a way to remember civilians targeted by paramilitaries during the Bosnian War so they filled in some of the shell marks along Saraci Street where people were killed with red clay. It really grabbed the attention of visitors, but after complaints they stopped doing it. “Rose” became part of the lexicon for aid workers starting out during Bosnia.
Satravacki – Serbo-Croatian speakers like in Bosnia, Croatia, and Serbia have their own kind of Pig Latin in which they reverse the syllables of words to be funny.
Seeds and tools – Some brilliant lunatics in the vital counter-famine effort have the habit of thinking that beyond food aid only seeds and tools are required. Really there are a thousand things to do to prevent hunger, so new wave aid workers get annoyed when their elders chime on about it as if they’ve fulfilled the mission.
Sevdalinka – Love song or love story among Turks or Bosnian Muslims.
Shehid – Muslim or person referred to in Arabic who died trying to accomplish some great moral quest. Often used to refer to someone killed fighting for an Islamic cause or people.
Smurfs – Peacekeepers, cause they traditionally wear blue and white, like the cartoon creatures.
A solar cooker. Brine Rustle.
Solar cooker – The desert sun is not in fact hot enough to cook meat, but if it’s reflected against itself in a bowl of mirrors it can definitely heat tea and warm stew. Solar cookers are a new wave answer to the problem of cooking fuel shortages in semi-arid and deforested regions.
Sphere – Everyone needs goals. Many of the veteran aid agencies got together and wrote up a whole set of just how much water, shelter, food, nutrition, etc, that each person has a right to. It’s a pain in the ass, but it keeps aid fairer than otherwise. Some agencies like Doctors Without Borders think setting a minimum means people will only aim for a minimum. Other agencies, like those who grew on Iraq War funding, or old school traditionalists still have no clue. Sphere minimum standards are required reading for new aid workers.
Stand-up tragedy – Rooftop party, some war zone. So and so just got back from the bush, is a little slap-happy, and is telling a terrific story that is so tragic and awful and well-paced that it has everybody laughing.
Storm troopers – Any soldiers who appear to lose their individuality and righteousness once massed together for movement.
Tactical shit – A military phrase made known in the book and mini-series, Generation Kill. When you’re conducting a mission in a fighting area, but don’t have time to relieve yourself for so long you have to do it under fire or danger. See also “combat dump.”
Tamam – Arabic word for “okay,” “yeah, I guess,” or “thanks,” depending on context.
Tart fuel – Any fruity liquor drink popular among the ladies.
Technical – A jeep or pick-up truck which has been sawed-off and mounted with a heavy machine gun, a poor rebel’s humvee popular in Sudan and Somalia.
Textual relations / textual intercourse – Trying to keep a romantic relationship or affair going while separated by using the free chat or text features on one’s laptop or phone.
The Bubble – Many if not most crisis responders travel to comfy villas in air-conned Pathfinders and enjoy the basic comforts of a hotel bar even in the middle of war zones. Those many crisis responders who spend time out in the villages or on the frontline prod and poke the former for living in “The Bubble” when they might learn more living in “The Bush.”
Thuraya – Classic satellite phone company, keeping you in touch when there are no cell phone towers. The term is sometimes used for sat-phones of any company.
TNC – Transnational corporation.
Tourette’s… / combat tourette’s / bush tourette’s – When someone due to the situation cannot keep from cursing and saying profane things to a comical degree.
Tree suit – Coffin.
UNamerican – Americans who are more loyal to the UN than their home country.
UNirati – Like illuminati, the UN elite who seem to exist purely to run ineffective meetings and cocktail parties.
USAID / U.S.AID / U.S.A.I.D. See “AID.”
UXO – Unexploded ordinance, mortar or artillery shells or cluster bombs which for some reason haven’t gone off yet, so there they lie waiting for some kid or goat to come walking along.
Walking wounded – People who seem healthy, but something’s hurting inside.
Warcation – When the tides of war force you to evacuate or close down work. Guess what, now you can catch up on DVDs and phone calls. See also “hurrication.”
Warm and cuddly – A terrible, horrible place or person.
Watsan – Support for clean water and sanitation to prevent disease.
WAWA – West Africa wins again.
Well-fed dead – Inspired by the well-organized aid to Sarajevo which did nothing to undo the bloody siege, “well-fed dead” are those saved by relief but failed by diplomacy.
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